Hey, Stop Fighting

Thursday evening I went to bed with a laundry list of things that I wanted to accomplish the following day, though Friday had other plans. I woke up that morning with a stabbing pain in my gut. In true form I stubbornly attempted to go about my day as planned, all the while cursing the pain and its intrusion on my scheduled activities. Doesn’t it know that I have things to do? I don’t have time for this! How rude!

As you can guess, the more I fought it the more it won, until I had to admit defeat and crawl back into bed. I laid there weakly arguing with it a little more before finally letting go and giving into the fact that, no, I wasn’t going to get any of the things done that I mapped out for the day. I took a breath, and then relaxed…

It’s truly amazing what happens when you stop fighting something. The miraculous occurs. It creates space for peace and for a gentler kind of change. I’m very happy to say that within about an hour my stomach started calming down.  It was still a little tender for a while, but who isn’t after they’ve been battled with?  This leads me to this week’s message, which is about the difference between fighting for change and supporting change.  It really is all about perspective and knowing what to let go of. Picking your battles, so to speak, and using the weapons of compassion and focus instead of anger and frustration. My stomach and I are both loving this idea.

With Love.

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From Over There:
“To fight is to confront in anger. This is not the same as self-preserving tactics which are necessary for survival. To protect oneself and others through action while releasing the need to do it through anger or resentment allows potential for a more peaceful outcome. It is through recognizing the underlying reason for pursuing the action that one realizes if the action is based in anger or in a true desire for positive outcome. Through an altruistic perspective one can move toward creating change with a lessened possibility of offending others and creating resistance. It is with this intention as the motivating force behind action where resolution can be found.”

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Featured Guest: Marshall Rosenberg
Most of us have been educated from birth to compete, judge, demand and diagnose — to think and communicate in terms of what is “right“ and “wrong“ with people. We express our feelings in terms of what another person has “done to us.” We struggle to understand what we want or need in the moment, and how to effectively ask for what we want without using unhealthy demands, threats or coercion.

At best, thinking and communicating this way can create misunderstanding and frustration, or simply keep us from getting what we want. It can also keep us from the fulfilling relationships we deserve. And still worse, it can lead to anger, depression and even emotional or physical violence.

Since developing the Nonviolent Communication (NVC) process in the 1960’s, Marshall Rosenberg’s vision has been to teach people of any age, gender, ethnicity or background a much more effective alternative. At present, hundreds of certified NVC trainers and supporters are teaching NVC skills to people from all walks of life around the globe. To learn more, please visit nonviolentcommunication.com.

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If you'd like more information, to book an appointment, or check out the current class schedule, please visit molliejensen.com.